My first experience of gluten free bread, or to be honest, gluten free anything was 20 years ago. Gluten free bread made of rice, selling for obscene prices, only from special health shops and just about edible after several rounds in the toaster. Back then I was warned by the wise health food shop assistant to be careful of the sugar content in gluten free products which contribute to the development of a whole new range of problems for some misfortunate souls. (Nowadays we would more accurately warn about the dangers of reliance on too much processed food). There were many different phases trialed, gluten free, dairy free, lactose free, gluten and milk free, the best of which was months traveling around Asia which naturally brought a very healthy stable period of rice, meat, and vegetables. No milk and no wheat. I was suddenly a different person.
Like everything in life, after a period of trial and error, spanning over several years in my case, I muddled my way into something that works for me. For years, this has been wheat-free, milk, butter, cream and yogurt-free. Strangely enough spelt flour, quark, crème fresh and cheese are all totally acceptable having little effect on my overall wellbeing or suffering.
Gluten-free has been a great fallback in times where social situations lobbed me into the throws of awkward choices. It worked for a while. Tasty it was not. I would say passable. Those of us who are smart and enjoy food learnt to workaround this. You learn to cook better, be creative and look around to see what fabulous creations vegans and vegetarians are coming up with. Then I substitute and add meat hoping the vegans and vegetarians don't catch me and burn me at the stake for such sacrilege. But it worked. Avoidance of most processed foods was a welcome side effect to this tactic. I found ways to feed myself and stay happy and moving about the place like a normal human being. You might ask what this has to do with anything? My reaction to a wheat fest, is an extreme bout of tiredness and rapid expansion of the entire gut/ stomach area. Its like watching the Hulk change in slow and uncomfortable motion. During this process, I find it difficult to stay upright and slump downward towards to table as if my whole upperbody has been weighted with lead and is just too heavy to carry. The trunk in the middle inflates like a helium filled balloon until some point later in the process (if I am unlucky, several hours/ days later) it begins to deflate in an episode of relieved belching which would put any good medievel slobb to shame!
Thankfully, I have learnt to avoid this rather brutal cycle and edged out a relatively normal existence for myself. The odd time, I get unlucky or make a dumb mistake which reminds me of my former suffering.
Travelling, poses many challenges for those of us with restricted diets brought on by a wise determination to avoid the aforementioned complications of eating something .....uncomfortable. In my worst moments, I must confess to having chewed Dennys sausages and black pudding in a hotel breakfast room, just for the memory of the taste and then disposed of them discretely when hopefully no one was looking - without swallowing. Living dangerously… dangerously and barbarically. Knowing I had reached an all time low. I am indeed ashamed of these embarrassing sins. I was overwhelmed by my lack of acceptance of my situation. Torn between missing an old familiar friend and knowing that friend was wielding an axe and coming right for me… Cue a crazy animation of a wheat laced sausage whirling an axe and chasing me around.... . These days I don't even register the sausage. I can completely ignore the croissants, batch bread, rolls, even sausage rolls and cake. It‘s like I don't see them at all. Or I do, and all I see is poison left out waiting to attack me. I can easily walk past, totally uneffected.
The world has changed though. The quality of recent gluten free products hitting the market far exceeds the lowly rice bread I once toasted into passable plausible, maybe edible food. It is also like a little back door leading me back into a world of processed foods I had already learnt to live without. There are gluten free cakes, buns, burger buns, and pizza hitting shelves and restaurants in many forward thinking European countries. I myself was euphorically overwhelmed by this availability last summer while travelling Ireland and Sweden. Both accommodate Gluten free even in even the smallest pizzeria. But my joy was short-lived.
Gluten free was a plausible alternative for me, but I am clearly wheat intolerant, gluten having little to do with the actual source of the problem. Spelt contains gluten, but doesn't bother me at all. Advancements in technologies are, however, not advancing in my favour. A new era of gluten- free wheat-packed products appears to have hit the shelves! What an amazing advancement for the celiac. Science has found a way to remove the gluten from the wheat and make it safe for celiacs… It is amazing! Celiacs can now eat in more restaurants without being confined to a measly one miserable looking dish. There is choice and inclusion in the up and coming modern society we live in. Well done. It is a wonderful development. But there is always a flip side. I am among the losers in this new era: Gluten-free is no longer a sure free option for me. I must re-adjust my reality and learn to inspect each gluten free temptation with skepticism in this ever changing world of technological advancements.